Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I know I'm old because...

  • I have no shame in going to bed at 9:30pm.
  • I have to use lamaze breathing to reach my legs for shaving in the shower.
  • I drive a car based on whether I'll be able to get in and out of it, not how sexy I'll look while I'm in it.
  • I have to keep snacks at hand at all times or risk passing out due to low blood sugar.
  • Spicy food gives me heartburn.
  • I need to carry a stool to the bus stop because standing for ten minutes kills my back.
  • Raking the back yard for 20 minutes has caused me 10 days of shoulder pain.
  • All standing up and sitting down causes groaning noises.
  • Snoring. That's all I have to say about that.
  • Yesterday I discovered that I need to find a Ladies Room before I find a Dressing Room, as it appears that removing garments is the signal to my bladder that relief is in sight! I found two cute tops at Ross yesterday that didn't scream MATRONLY, although I almost peed myself in the process.
  • Nothing has given me more pleasure recently than sifting dry ingredients and adding them to the wet ingredients being stirred by my stand mixer.
  • Celebrities like Meg Ryan who are older than me in years, now look younger than me onscreen!
  • I actually know how to buy cantelope.

1 comment:

  1. I can't say enough good things about my chiropractor. It really helps me with all my back problems.