Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bus Stop Chronicles - Chapter Two

My bus stop is pretty entertaining. Actually I have two bus stops, morning and evening. The morning stop was described in an earlier post as a gulag inspired firing squad set up. The afternoon stop is at a busy intersection here in Washington DC. The afternoons have been very entertaining lately and I'm not quite sure why. The weather has gotten warmer, so that is a possibility, but I have started carrying a small, folding, aluminum, 3-legged stool with me because as I noted yesterday I am OLD! Maybe that is making me notice the crazy all around me.

The first day I showed up at the morning stop with the stool the Drama Queen got all bent out of shape. The Drama Queen or TDQ is a guy who may or may not be gay, and if he is he gives all gay queens a bad name. He is bothered by all of us in the world who take up his space and breathe his oxygen. He gets on the bus every morning and sits as close to the front as possible, usually the second seat. Then he proceeds to make himself at home. First he puts his seat all the way back. Then he gets his pillow out. Then he takes his coat off and uses it like a blanket. One day I took the seat directly behind him and after he lowered his seat as far into my lap as it would reach I turned the light on overhead because I was gonna read. He huffed and puffed and put his seat back up and got up and stomped to the back of the bus to a darker seat. Yesterday a woman who got on the bus at the second stop of the day had to ask him 3 times to move over so that she could sit down, the bus was full and he was taking up TWO seats. Evidently my need for a stool while waiting for the bus is just too much for him because he sighs and shakes his head every time I open it up and sit down. I think everyone else sighs because they secretly want a stool of their own, but this guy is irritated with me.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting there on my stool tweeting my peeps and watching for my bus when a very hairy guy with no shirt on, walked past me and yelled "Ever heard of the Texas Rangers? They Knew!" He was wearing shorts and black boots and that was it, no back pack, no hat, no shopping cart. Just a shimmering cloud of body hair stalking down the street.

Earlier this week a lady walked by who had a braid down her back that reached all the way to her knees!!!! As someone who used to have hair long enough to sit on, I can tell you that I would NOT want hair almost long enough to STEP on!!

The afternoon stop is on the same streetcorner as a Starbucks. (surprise) Last Friday a lovely young lady wearing the prettiest black dress with pleats and bows and a ruffled hem rode up on her bike. She daintily stepped off of the bike, chained it to a pole, unhooked her saddlebag, went into Starbucks, came back out with coffee in hand, unlocked her bike, rehooked her saddlebag and rode off with her coffee in one hand and her handlebars in the other. It was very impressive. I took a picture of her because she was just so lovely, but I don't know how to pull the picture off of my phone and put it here.

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